Pledging for the IDF

Posted: December 25, 2010 in Mikveh Alon
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So after a little over a week of being in the army and having two weekends off (since we started on a Wednesday) I’ve finally begun to get into the groove of how everything works. Bakum ended up being EXACTLY like what everyone told me it would be like. Four shots of who know’s what immunizations that made my arm sore for two days, lots of pictures, X-rays and fingerprints. All the imaging was for in case we get some random part of our body blown off – which is pretty much the exact words they used when I asked what it was for… very comforting. We received ID card’s and dog tags, but obviously only after a bajillion more questions that I’ve already answered numerous times before. Bakum was just a long day of BLAAHHHHH. Beyond all the tedious tasks, I did meet some cool people that day that I still see around and talk to at the base, so the time there wasn’t a complete waste. The next week, starting on Sunday morning, was when everything really started up.

My Hebrew obviously isn’t anywhere near sufficient to be a soldier but it’s growing by leaps and bounds everyday. Knowing that the little area in my brain called the left temporal lobe is terrible at comprehending language I’ve been surprised by how quickly I’m picking up words and sayings. From a young age I’ve always been terrible with language; I couldn’t tell the difference between a “b” and “d” – true story. The schools also told my parents to stop teaching me Swedish because I couldn’t tell the difference between Swedish and English – true story. Knowing this, I still jumped off the high dive into the Israeli Army instead of the US Army. I’m what you’d call a “mefager” in hebrew – a damned retard.

I'm too sexy... I'm too sexy... I'm too sexy for my beret?

Speaking of the US Army – I realize now that I would completely dominate it. Other than my lack of Hebrew skill I’m excelling beyond nearly everyone else at every other aspect of the Army. Our first physical test I maxed out the push ups and sit-ups. I came in 4th in the 2 km run. 76 push ups, 88 sit-ups and about a 9 minute run later I felt like I could do it all over again. Taking apart our M-16 A1 I had no problem taking it apart and reassembling it in under a minute and a half. Clearly I realize I’m tooting my own horn a bit, but for those of you who know me – that’s not something new. The Army has humbled me quiet a bit however, mostly due to my lack of language skills. I need to listen more than speak and I rely more on my skill of understanding than my skill of smack talk. Smack talk is reserved for Adam – my friend, army pal and blog nemesis. Adam if you’re reading this, your blog sucks – come to the dark side.

The M-16 I took apart is an old piece of crap from the Vietnam War that the US basically handed to Israel during the Yom Kippur War. Apparently the US sold them for a buck a piece. Hell I would have bought a couple hundred myself for that price. We’ve had to lug the old thing around the whole past week – you forget it somewhere and you’re screwed. I like my M-16 though, her names ShaNayNay – she’s big and she’s black (meh, I thought it was clever when we were all naming our “neshakeem” aka weapons). Apparently the “onesh” or punishment for forgetting it is automatic shabbat – basically meaning you don’t get the weekend off. Considering next weekend is New Years – I’m holding onto that thing like a fat kid to his cake this week.

man I wish this was an M-16!

ShaNayNay is heavy and a royal pain in the arse to run with but she/it’s also the coolest thing we’ve gotten our gritty hands on so I guess it’s worth it. This coming week we’ll be doing target practice with lasers??? Whatever, I guess I came to the army just to go to a high tech LazerTron. Apparently we’ll be doing live shooting in two weeks though – I’m really looking forwards to that, mostly because I know I’m gonna be awesome at it and it’ll make up for the fact that everyone else in my unit knows more Hebrew than I do.

ma baby girl

Tzevet Tesha – or Unit 9 is my unit. A bunch of freaks, but I love em. Tzevet Tesha is made up of: a couple of Ruski’s that speak barely any English, a Ukrainian kid Demetri who’s speaks English and quite a bit of Hebrew, a chill Venezualan named Josh who speaks English, Spanish and Hebrew, a Brasillian, and a few Americans. I get along with everyone pretty well even though some of them can be complete idiot’s sometimes. I just don’t think they’ve realized they’re in the Army yet. I’ll update on my unit more as I get to know them better. I’m trying to keep an open mind… key word is trying.

“Trying” is the name of the game during training in the IDF, as I’m sure is the same in most other civilized armies in the world as well. They don’t really care if you’re number 1 or not – they’d rather see that you’re motivated and putting your effort into the game. I call it a game because that’s really all that “tironut” or training is. Tironut is glorified pledging all over again.

I pledged a fraternity in college (won’t name which one, but you can probably guess) which didn’t have an “I’m gonna beat the shit out of you” hazing process – but it also wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine either. Eating gross stuff, push ups, sit-ups, wall sits, running, getting yelled at – that sort of harmless stuff. And I say harmless because although I recognize that it technically is hazing I really don’t think it affected me adversely in any way. What I do believe is that it made me a stronger person mentally and physically. It also prepared me for how I’d be treated during the Army.

All day long we get barked at by 20-25 year old women who clearly have some inanimate object stuck far up their asses. EVERYTIME we move somewhere we have to count down from 10 in Hebrew the last 10 seconds of the time we were allotted. Otherwise it’s pushups and running. Or maybe it’s just running for the sake of running. Or maybe it’s pushups because they purposely didn’t give us enough time to get to where we were supposed to be going. I think you can understand where I’m going with this. If you don’t get it, it’s probably because you haven’t pledged or haven’t served in the Army. I won’t say you’re better off, because I know pledging was interesting and the Army sure as hell seems entertaining enough.

More entertaining is what happened this weekend. This weekend I went to another kibbutz with one the soldiers from my kibbutz called Maagen Michael which is supposed to be the nicest in the country. The stories are true. This place was amazing. It’s made all of it’s money off of some plastic factory that makes toilet parts – random. Whatever they do, they do it right. They’re a 10 minute walk from the beach, there are crazy exotic plants growing everywhere and the food is FANTASTIC. Best thing is, if you live there – you don’t pay for didily squat, it’s a kibbutz. Long story short Elan (my friend) and I passed out cold before we went to the party were were supposed to go to there. We slept around 14 hours – I really needed it. Shit happens, oh well. I met some more cool people though and Josh from my Tzevet lives there so I got to meet up with him. I met a Jewish, Swedish girl who just made aliyah and speaks Hebrew… WTF? For friends of mine, you know It was like seeing myself but in hot girl form. All in all, a relaxing interesting weekend even though I missed out on a party – there’s always next weekend that’s already in the planning…

Maagen Michael

I have to wake up in about 5 hours to get back to the Army tomorrow so I’m gonna cut this entry a little short. I have some other things written down that I had wanted to write about but I guess they’ll either just have to go on Facebook or wait till next weekend. I created a Flickr page for my phone pictures so check that out in the meanwhile (there’s only a few for now). Sorry guys I know how much you want to read about my awesome 19 hour pledge fests, but I have another one to prepare for tomorrow so it’ll have to wait.

“L’hetraot” (See you later)

Tomorrow is the Day

Posted: December 14, 2010 in Before Deployment
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So now, I know I left you on a bit of a cliffhanger last time – but ya know my fingers were getting tired of typing and I was in the mood for a bit of Facebooking. That being said, I left you off on the question of “What is Bakum?”.

Bakum is a base that all new soldiers are sent to outside of Tel Aviv to get poked and prodded for hours on end. We’ll get immunizations and we’ll get uniforms. We’ll get dog tags and ID cards. We’ll get pushed this way and that by other impatient new soldiers and have no idea what’s going on because it will likely all be in Hebrew. That being said – this could all be a lie, most of what I know about the IDF is from reading online at various sites along with word of mouth from others.

I have idea’s of what to expect but in the back of my mind, I know to expect the unexpected. This is not just the army (something I’ve never experienced before), but also an army in another country. I know enough Hebrew to order my falafel or shawarma with all the stuff I like on it… agvaniot, betzal, salat, chips, ketzat chareef etc. etc. (tomatoes, onions, salad, fries, and a little spicy); but let’s be serious – ordering lunch and preparing yourself for the army are two completely different ball games!

Apparently we’ll be provided with a large duffel bag and we’ll be filling it with tons of stuff the army gives us. Assorted clothing such as T-shirts, underwear and socks to personal items such as a toiletry kit. I’ll have to carry around all this stuff in addition to my large bag that I already have. And as of right now I’m still homeless. Thankfully I should be moving into a place next time I have off.

Tzvika who I sort of introduced you to in my last post has set up a place for me to live on a kibbutz in the North called “Beit Keshet“. The name literally means “House of the Arrow”, not sure how much more bad ass that could get… OH WAIT, it gets seriously more bad ass! Beit Keshet was founded by Palmach members. Palmach was the original special forces unit of the Haganah – the underground Jewish fighting force before Israel’s independence in 1948. I hope the kibbutz is as cool as it sounds, but we’ll see, I’ll be taking it all day by day.

Beit Keshet is about 45 minutes away from my friends kibbutz, and it’s quite a bit further away from the bigger cities of Israel, but I guess that doesn’t really matter considering I’ll probably just want to sleep and watch movies on my time off. That being said, if anyone wants to donate a computer to me, that would be fantastic. I’m writing this entry on my friend Adam’s laptop, but after this one, I will likely have to resort to my iPhone for typing up entries slowly but surely. Hopefully I’ll be able to get all my things in order in the next week or two. I still need to straighten out some details of my cell phone that I just got as well as make sure that my Israeli bank account is functioning the way it’s supposed to.

My payments from the army are supposed to be direct deposit into my bank account so that should be nice once those start rolling in. Unfortunately as of right now I have no way of accessing any money from that account because I still don’t have a bank card! I will need to go to Tel Aviv to pick up my card at some point. I’m less nervous about the army now, and more so just stressed about taking care of everything in an orderly fashion. When I do have time off, it will usually be off on the weekend, which is when everything is closed. I will likely have to request an afternoon off from the army to take care of personal matters (which I’m allowed from time to time thankfully). Right now I’m off to have a glass or two of wine, shower and shave, pack up my things and get ready for tomorrow morning.

Thank you to everyone who has been sending me well wishes and keeping me in their thoughts. I’m sure not everyone understands or agrees with what I’m doing. Hell, I don’t even understand it myself sometimes. All I know is what I’ve said before in another blog post:

I Love you all, and if any of you are wondering why I’m out here doing what I’m doing it’s because when I’m old, gray and wrinkled on my death bed, I’d like to be able to utter these two sentences:

“I’ve been there and I’ve done that.
I’ve seen more than most and experienced life to its fullest.”

Two Days Before Deployment

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It’s two days before I have to report to the bus station that will eventually take me to Bakum. Now obviously unless you have some sort of odd knowledge of the Israeli army system, or you’ve done this before – you have no idea what Bakum is. So let’s start with a quick rundown of how my army paperwork has gone so far:

  1. I spoke with a man who helps Lone Soldiers – his name is Tzvika. He gave me some pointers on what I should be doing to get into the army.
  2. I got a letter from my Rabbi proving I’m Jewish, I got a letter from my doctor at home saying I’m in good general health and I got a hold of my original birth certificate.
  3. Had a meeting with a guy at the MoD (Ministry of Defense) named Yuval. He gave me a few more pointers which were generally the same as what Tzvika told me.
  4. I took my letter from my Rabbi, my passport and my birth certificate and brought it to the Jewish Agency. There they copied everything and said I should hear back in a few days. As is the case with most offices in Israel, when they say they’ll call – they won’t. I went into the office a week later and asked what was going on, I told them I wasn’t leaving until they fixed it. They had winded up losing all my paperwork and I had to recopy everything. I sat and watched them until they finished my paperwork – with all the signatures and stamps it needed. That’s how you get work done, make them do it.
  5. From the Jewish Agency I took my proof of “Jewishness” and went to the Ministry of Immigration and got myself a fancy sticker in my passport. Isn’t it pretty?

    not sure If I'm supposed to post this? EDIT: removed image (decided it wasn't the best idea...)

  6. Now that I had proof that I’m allowed to stay in the country for two years I headed back to Yuval at the MoD and gave him EVERYTHING I had gathered, including my letter from my doctor saying I’m nice and healthy.
  7. From here Yuval was great, he worked behind the scenes and got everything ready.
  8. I went into the Lishkat Gius (Enlistment Office) in Haifa and had a medical examination, Hebrew test and IQ test. This is called “Tzav Rishon” or “First Order”.
  9. A week after my tests I went into the Lishkat Gius one more time to essentially wait in line three hours just to sign one piece of paper. I’m not even sure why I had to go, but anyway that was a “fun” waste of a day.
  10. From here I went home for 2 weeks and proceeded to miss a few phone calls from the army (oops?). Also while I was away I received a letter in the mail telling me my enlistment date. Eventually when I got back, I got in contact with the army and made another appointment (which I went to today). And so, without further ado this is where I am:

    rain at kfar masaryk

    flooding at kfar masaryk

It’s been raining for days and it’s disgustingly cold, for Israel that is. Everyone here loves it, not sure when the last time they saw rain was, so I guess it’s understandable. Through all of it I trudged through the rain puddles, pushed myself through the blistering wind and eventually, soaked, I made it back to the Lishkat Gius.

Instead of waiting for hours like last time I was here, I only waiting five minutes or so. On top of that I got to sit and talk with a very cute Israeli girl. She took me through some basic info and had me sign a few more papers as well as talk to her about where I’d like to live on my time off. I’m trying to stay on a kibbutz that some of my friends are on, and so hopefully they can make that happen. While waiting for a phone call to come in to confirm some info for me we wrote notes to each other, I wrote her one in Hebrew, and she wrote me one in English:

note

I think we're a match made in heaven.

And so today was a pretty good day. I made it to my friends kibbutz safe and sound. After napping, relaxing, eating and watching a movie I feel good and back in the groove of things. I still need to get a cell phone at some point, but that will be taken care of soon hopefully. And so now when you thought I forgot about it, onto Bakum.

I’ll tell you about Bakum tomorrow. BAZINGA!

Posted: December 13, 2010 in Before Deployment
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Responses to “To Israel, Or Not To Israel”

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I realized that with the numerous comments on the prior post and the split between old blog and new – it made the most sense to create a new post with my responses.

These responses are to the post https://thelonesoldier.wordpress.com/2010/12/01/to-israel-or-not-to-israel as well as to http://europetowhat.com/2010/11/12/to-israel-or-not-to-israel.

Mike: You are correct in saying that the Arab-Israeli conflict started long before most people believe – therefore it is even more complicated than the majority of people think. The modern incarnation of the conflict (post 1920) is only the most recent uprising. It is ingrained in the way each society is brought up, and only grows stronger as time goes on. The longer peace talks go on without a solid negotiation, the harder a compromise will be to achieve.

Nick: Many of those reasons you listed ARE the reasons, all enveloped by a desire to protect the beauty of a country only recently founded (1948) and just as recently trying to be destroyed. A country which before the Jews/Israelis came was mostly arid lands and after which were transformed over time. It’s a desire to serve and preserve the hard work put into changing these lands for the better.

FormerLS: I agree that I will assuredly have a changed outlook after my service. I hope to never lose my morals and ideals however. As much as Gaza is an example, what about the Sinai peninsula? Israel gained peace with Egypt only after giving up that LARGE piece of land and withdrawing all troops and civilians from the land. I think giving up land can potentially work, but only if a stringent plan for both sides is set in place prior. I’m not saying to give up more land than Israel already has, but at some point the settlements will go too far and infuriate the Palestinian government and people. Clearly this is a debate that could go on for ages – and it has. I don’t have the answer and obviously there isn’t one yet, otherwise there would be peace. Please continue to comment as I would love to hear more from an informed veteran as time goes on!

Connie: Thanks for your continued support! A positive attitude is the only way to go through life, climb and strive for more; there’s no point in wallowing in a pit of sorrow when you can be basking in the light of day. Peace is attainable, but only when both sides come to the realization that compromises must be made…

P.S. I never ending up drinking at the airport… was far too exhausted from the travel time. I slept on a bench for 3 hours though!

Hansel: Firstly, let me thank you for your well thought out and well written response. Luckily I saw it in time before I published this response post. As much as the settlements are “meant to be” part of Israel, and many of them may well be included, many of them will also be dissolved into Arab land. I should have phrased that sentence to say that “not all would be included as Israeli lands”. The outliers will likely be turned over, and only those closest to East Jerusalem and other predominantly Jewish settlements/towns will remain in Israeli hands. It’s similar to when Israel was founded, with all the kibbutzim which set the general territorial lines.

I agree with you when you say that the Arab negotiators are using the settlements as a point to delay the talks, but they have the right to. They are trying to get what they want. Regardless of whether Israeli’s withdrew from Gaza as well as the Sinai peninsula, the West Bank and Jerusalem is a much more delicate area with more being at stake. Jerusalem is the capital of Israel, but according to Palestinians it’s also their capital. Even though many of their main operations are out of Ramallah, how is that different from Israel and Tel Aviv?

I know that there have been plenty of peace treaties that should have been accepted (like the one with Jordan concerning the West Bank), but the fact is that they weren’t. Unfortunate, but the current talks need to start from square one and IMO shouldn’t bring up old talks – it’s just like bringing up old beef with someone you have a new problem with, it never ends well.

As for how many Arabs choose to fight, I obviously do not condone their actions and methods. I can understand how people think of them as “dogs”, but I also realize that it’s not all of them; which is why I specifically labeled terrorists as dogs, and Arabs as people. I believe that most stereotypes and generalizations come from some sort of truth,  but they can also lead to hate which is not deserved by all. It’s because of this that I thank you for your strength in holding your tongue, even against such adversity. Be better than those you don’t respect, otherwise you’re only lowering yourself to their level – but from reading your response, it doesn’t seem like I need to tell you that.

EVERYONE: I’m not sure If I responded to every point you all made, but I tried. Please keep reading and responding, as I love the debating and correspondence. I know I’m not always right, and I would love to learn from others that know more than myself. In the future I may not have as much time to respond, but rest assured I am definitely reading your responses.

Remember: for the latest updates, be sure to become a fan on The Lone Soldier Facebook Page.

Posted: December 9, 2010 in Before Deployment
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Leaving Tonight on a Jet Plane

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Tonight at 7:30pm I’ll be on a Virgin airlines flight to London. At London Heathrow I’ll spend several hours trying to get as drunk as possible for as cheap as possible considering I have a 5 1/2 hour layover there.

In my inebriated state I hope to gain some more insight into why I’m doing what I’m doing other than for shits and giggles and the fact that I’ve got nothing better to do with my time. I’ll talk to people, try to convince them to buy me drinks as a “send me off” and eventually spark up some friendly political debates, hopefully it will pass the time quickly. If that doesn’t pan out, I’ve always got my handy dandy iPhone games and reading.

From London my El Al flight heads over to Ben Gurion airport in Tel Aviv, due for arrival at 9pm on Tuesday. Super stoked for 14 1/2 hours of travel time. Should be AWESOME. At least I’ll be back in the warmth of TLV tomorrow night, it’s still in the 70’s during the day, and high 50’s at night. Not too shabby considering I’m looking out my window at some fluffy snow gently blowing around right now.

Time to start packing up my bags, haven’t started that venture yet – and I’m leaving tonight on a jet plane.

Posted: December 6, 2010 in Before Deployment
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